Be silent, and be rewarded...

I once heard the quote "Silence is the only substitute for brains" it took me a while to think how this really makes sense.

I have a friend who recently did a retreat in Bali, one of the most challenging, and unusual tasks she had to complete was the silent day this went on at this camp for 2 days, and it got me thinking. Silence is difficult for a lot of people to REALLY accomplish. So WHY do we all find it so difficult to be quiet and really listen?!

One of the best ways to get better at silence (Yes this means turning phones and computers off) is through meditation. If we train in meditation, our mind will gradually become more and more peaceful, and we will experience a purer and purer form of happiness. Eventually, we will be able to stay happy all the time, even in the most difficult circumstances. It goes the same with listening if your mind is still you are able to interpret information given to you better. Usually we find it difficult to control our mind. It seems as if our mind is like a balloon in the wind – blown here and there by external circumstances. So when we are listening, we are not really listening!

There is a real distinction between merely hearing the words and really listening for the message. When we listen effectively we understand what the person is thinking and/or feeling from the other person’s own perspective. It is as if we were standing in the other person’s shoes, seeing through their eyes and listening through the person's ears. Our own viewpoint may be different and we may not necessarily agree with the person, but as we listen, we understand from the other's perspective.

To listen effectively, we must be actively involved in our surroundings, and not just listening passively, and waiting for our turn to talk, by telling a better story or by not really interpretation what they are saying.

Sometimes the challenge in listening is being willing to give without really taking anything back. Being willing to let someone confide in you, with confidence that you are going to give them your honest opinion.

So when you are listening to somebody, completely, attentively, then you are listening not only to the words, but also to the feeling of what is being conveyed, to the whole of it, not part of it. ~Jiddu Krisnamurti

The fear of not saying anything, and really LISTENING is challenging, try it today, speak less and enjoy more.

 I often regret that I have spoken; never that I have been silent.

Roman writer and poet.